Sometimes I’m still mad at myself for what I didn’t know. But when I became a foster parent, I saw firsthand the effect that food insecurity has on children. It isn’t just a hungry feeling in your belly – food insecurity damages the central nervous system and creates trauma and those of us raised in food-secure homes can’t begin to appreciate it until we see it in real time. Children learn safety, security, and attachment through food. It’s science.
Every time we are hungry and our caregiver feeds us is a transaction that teaches us about the world. We learn security, confidence, and comfort when our needs our met as infants. It shapes everything we know about the world.
On the other hand, when we are hungry and there is no food provided, we learn that the world is not safe, that our needs can’t be satisfied, and that every bite of food may be our last. Short term, it looks like children eating non-edible things from hair, to chewing pieces of wood off their crib, to eating bugs, garbage, and hoarding. They try to eat anything they can fit in their mouths even if it’s harmful. It looks like gorging themselves until they get sick because they truly believe they will never have food again. It is a pervasive hopelessness that creates trauma and the inability to trust for the rest of their lives.
Children do not get to choose the families they are born into, so if you were born into a family that was able to meet all your needs as an infant and toddler – you are lucky indeed!
Children born into poverty, addiction, abuse – this is not their fault and the only way to end the cycle of poverty, addiction, and abuse is to step in for these kids and provide for their basic needs no matter who their parents are or what they have done. Children do not deserve our disdain or punishment because they are poorer than us – they have zero choices, zero power, and zero ability to provide for themselves. It is ALWAYS the adults responsibility- as parents, yes, but also as a society who cares about the future of our world.
But the reality is that most people on SNAP benefits aren’t addicts or abusive or any of that – they are simply people who are working hard to make ends meet and because of our broken economic system, they can’t do it alone. But if we don’t help, we are sentencing their children to a life of struggle and trauma. We make the world a worse place to live.
SNAP bridges the gap for many families who are doing their best every single day. A single person (without kids) working full time at minimum wage qualifies for SNAP. Let that sink in. It means our government acknowledges that the minimum wage is too low to survive on, yet we have allowed that to continue. Double the minimum wage is still not enough to afford rent, a vehicle to get to work, and basic food and clothing. Yet they are told to just work harder, work more, or get a better job as if it is their fault. How can a single parent work two jobs when childcare costs more than their rent?
I know that you are a good person and you can make a difference! Please get out there and show kindness – give some money to food banks and homeless shelters, offer to babysit for a single parent, cut the lawn or shovel snow for someone who is overwhelmed. Influencers on Instagram are saying if you see someone stealing food you should look the other way. I say we can do better. If you see someone stealing food – just pay for it and help them stay out of trouble.
We can make this better if we stop being cruel and just lend a hand.