Sense of wonder, sense of awe.

Is this all there is to life? I am thirsty for something more.

Each day is more of the same. A never ending onslaught of bills and school lunches and scrambling to get there on time and trying to look like I’ve got it all together when all I really want is just to go back to my bed. Wishing this phase of life would go by more quickly; begging time to stand still. I need to be alone but I want more out of my relationships. I want something more, something different, something better. I want my life to be easier. I want more interesting challenges.

If I have everything I need, why do I crave something more?

Each one of us has a deep need, an inner desire, an insatiable hunger that we strive to fill. We sometimes ache with emptiness, and we try to fill it up with work, and school, and children or vacations, health and wellness and exercise. We search for significance on social media, sending snaps to show how well we’ve fulfilled ourselves, scrolling Facebook to see how others have satisfied their thirst for something more. But we never get enough because these things cannot fill us up. I find myself scrolling page after page, but it doesn’t fill any need. I’m not sure that it is even fun when everyone else looks like they are filling their lives more successfully than I. What if they’ve found it and I have not? That thing that I am searching for. I’ll look again, just to check. Are they winning at life and I am not?

Life wasn’t created to be despised.

We weren’t made to dread the day, detached and listless from the humdrum of each day’s routines and work. We weren’t purposed to numb our minds with  mobile tech, pushing out the pains and fears and hopes and joys of each moment with a constant influx of media posts, and excessive facts, and video clips. We were made for so much more.

We were created to glorify the Creator. To live with a sense of awe and wonder,  expectation, and joy.  Here I am, searching for more. Reminding myself that nothing can satisfy my thirst except for Jesus. Some days I feel like I’m racing to the finish line. Some days like I’m limping along the way. but here I am, chasing His heart, in hot pursuit of His holy, wholly loving grace, and finding awe and wonder along the way.

Want to come along for the ride?